Introduction:
The purpose of this experiment is to determine if drinking will improve my life.
Problem:
Ever since I was preteen, I've been plagued with acne. Not normal acne, but deep, oozing nasty acne requiring medication, numerous products and heaps of make-up. I remember explaining to my friends that I had 'accidentally run into a door', when in reality I had poked and prodded my pimple so much it gave me a huge bruise and scab...right in the middle of my forehead!
By conducting this research I hope to address and answer these very important questions:
- Does drinking water cause skin to glow??
- Does drinking water cause skin to look younger, fresher and more vibrant?
- Will it finally solve world hunger, bring peace to all the nations, balance the budget and end the recession?
Methodology:
My method is quite simple. DRINK!! My task is to drink at least 3+ litres of water a day for the next 7 days. I intend to do this by drinking a litre of water with every meal and then one between/after meals.
Control Group: Past Upside Down Girl
Experimental Group: Future Upside Down Girl
Limitations: Many
Observations:
Day 1-
Captain's Log stardate 030911.1
Today is Sunday, and I've decided that today is the day. However, I forgot one little thing; I don't have a water bottle or anything bigger than a mug. After searching my room I found a bottle of wine...Finished that off and topped it up with water. So, I began to drink and drink and drink. Finally, I finished my 4 litres at 8:30pm (2 of which I had in under an hour). From there on, just like clock work, I was going to the bathroom every 30-45 minutes. My last time was at 2:15am....
Note to self...Stop drinking at least 2 hours before bed time! Another observation: After 2 litres, my pee actually looked like water. Now I know why they say it's OK to drink it if you're ever stuck in the desert (with 2+ litres of water.....).
Day 2:
Stardate 040911.2: Situation: Uncomfortable.
Because it takes me over an hour to get to work, and is semi-inappropriate to bring a bottle of wine (even if it is filled with water), I decided to be smart and drink my first litre before going to work. I made sure to try and go, as my mother always told us to, right before leaving but apparently I was completely empty.
About 20 minutes into my 50 minute trip I felt a slight tingle in my bladder, and thought:
Ah this isn't too bad, I can wait another 30 minutes. Then I started noticing all the little bumps, shakes and vibrations.
You can do it Upside Down! Remember how you went right before you left? It's OK, just think about something else..
Yes all the work I have to do and (jolt!!) ummm...yeah work and quoting and (sudden stop) eek! I have training all week so I can sleep in and (lots of vibrations)...
Almost there Upside Down. Look! There's the first bridge! Only 15 more minutes until your stop! Really close now! Just think how beautiful your skin is going to be, so nice.... (jolt, bump, jolt) and shiny (jostle) just pinch a bit harder....Remember that time in High School when you really had to go? I wonder which one was worse? This time or that time, cuz that time was REALLY bad. You were searching for cups in the car and started crying cuz you had to go so badly..
Whoa! Why am I thinking of this? This is the worst possible thing to be thinking of. Think of ummm......(Screetch!!) My bladder!!! Oh good, the girl who gets on 5 minutes before my stop yes!!! Yes! YES!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! TRAFFIC?? why me!?!?!?
Just think how good you'll feel in a couple of minutes...you will be completely empty and....
Ooooh! I can see my bridge now! Yup, just a wee bit closer now. C'mon traffic MOVE! Oh good. Thank God!
You can hold on...just 10 more minutes. Just a quick 1 km walk..
Really? JUST 1km...
Yes Upside Down, JUST ONE K! You run 5 minute K's..If you walk really fast you can get there in 8 minutes...You can do it!!
Hmmm...I wonder if there's a bathroom on the way there? or is there a bathroom on the ground floor? Yes! Finally! my stop!!!
Ok, just walk really quickly, and there will be no problem.
Oh gosh! Walking is worse than sitting on bumpy bus....sooo far to go!! I wonder if someone would notice if I had an 'accident'? I mean I am wearing black. Black is black whether its wet or dry! Eww gross! Did I just really think that it would be OK to pee on myself?
Ok, just calm down, and think of something different; I know....sing a song!
"Ohhh! Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh, over and over and over the fields we go....Oh my God its so far away!!
Sweet! A bush!!! I bet you could go there. No one would be able to see you. You're wearing that big black coat and if you squatted, no one could tell!!
NO NO NO!! I can do it, just 6 more minutes...
Man you are making really good time this morning!
Ok made it to the traffic lights...dang it! I walked too quickly and now I have to wait for two cross walks to turn green. Man gotta go gotta go!! hurry up! hurry up!!
Look, Upside Down you're so close, all you have to do is get in the elevator and go straight to the bathroom! You don't even have to go to your desk, just make it to the elevator...
Phew! Ok crossed the road without getting hit (or peeing)...there's the building!
Ok now just cross the parking lot...good! Now, push the buttons for the elevator...
OMG! slowest elevator ever!..The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout....why are these the only songs that come to my mind? Why can't I think of a cool song like...uuhhhh...eerrr.... Twinkle Twinkle...haha twinkle rhymes with tinkle and I really need to....Oh good, door open....uggg! why oh why is my office on the 25th floor????
Ok, really close Upside Down, nearly there...hold on....
Yes! The doors have opened! Outta my way!!!
And so for the next 2 minutes I was in heaven. Hallelujah!!!
Conclusions:
My bladder works!
Recommendations:
-Invest in Depends, or other adult diaper
-Invest in running shoes
-Possible torture device
The ultimate throne:
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