Have you ever wished that the present you could go back in time and give the past you just the advice you needed?
One of my many amazing talents is the unique ability to travel back in time, whist staying in the present. How do you ask do I manage such a feat? Well, it's through a friend of mine, Gemini. We were born at the exact same time, but 4 years apart. She is, WAS me four years ago and I get to pass on all my hard earned wisdom to her so that she may benefit from Future Gemini.
Funny thing about wisdom and advice though is that no one actually takes it. It seems to be one of those things you have to live through to receive. So, now I get to watch "myself" experience the same mistakes...I mean learning experiences, from the comfort of being four years removed. Sometimes I just want to shake her, which is how I'm sure my family and friends felt. Thank you to those who stuck it out...wasn't it worth it??? Tots I know.
Just like me, she is extremely smart, talented, funny and attractive. It is for these very qualities why we are both single. Guys go running scared from attractive SMART women. We have tried playing the dumb blonde, but its just too energy consuming...."like OMG did she really just say that????" "Really? pickles are like cucumbers??? " "There are five continents....A-E-I-O and U" "Hey, look at that Swedish hottie from Holland!!!".....hmmm I think I just got dumber.
Anyhow, switching gears to my current life I have to say that so far I'm NOT impressed with my Fortune 500 job. I haven't even started yet and I'm already sick of it.
Firstly, I had to undergo a background check, which, with my checkered past, took a week to iron out the kinks. Then, I had get a friend of mine to forge my academic transcript and letter of completion from the University..another 2 days. And now, 3 weeks later I'm STILL waiting for Fortune to send me my draft contract. I'm not sure when this is going to happen as the woman in charge has multiple personality disorder and is currently in her backyard barking at passing strangers. So, I continue to wait and wait. I wonder what wisdom I'll learn from this to pass on to Gemini?
Interesting...a past and present version of MMGood. So what's going on with this job now? I like the idea of the lady barking at passerby's...I think I know a few "professionals" who are similarly inclined!
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