Book Review: Their Eyes Were Watching God; I needs mah Tea Cake!!!

In addition to being the coolest band nerd and President/Co-Founder of the IBTC I am also an avid book reader.  When I started my undergraduate degree, I met a person who truly changed my life (I'll have to dedicate a whole post to her at a later time). She was exactly what I needed when I needed it. She exposed me to a whole new way of living and activities that I wouldn't have tried, or admit to wanting to try.  One of the many things I am grateful to her for is getting me into reading.  Many stories also seemed to be what I needed when I needed it.

With the hundreds of books I've read, there are a few which are outstanding works of art. So far this year, my hands down favorite book is Zora Neale Hurston's "Their Eyes Were Watching God."

The book was written by an African American woman and published in 1937.  It was one of the first stories written with a woman (a BLACK woman) as the heroine. Initially, many critics snubbed the story as they thought it was too unrealistic and poorly written. However, now it is a highly acclaimed novel in Black Literature and has been repeatedly analysed with new intriguing insights revealed with each analysis.

The story takes place in a fictional American world shortly after slavery was abolished. The story opens with the main character, Janie, trudging home covered with mud, unkept and wearing overalls (VERY unlady like).  As she walks, the other women are huddled on their porches whispering behind her back bristling with satisfaction in knowing that they were right. They're all convinced that a young, sweet talking man, who swept a recently widowed Janie off her feet, had abandoned her and run off with all of  her money. They just KNOW that this has happened and they're itching to tell her they had told her so!!! One of her friends, Phoeby, approaches Janie, now sitting on her own porch, to get Janie to spill the beans...

The prose in this book is amazing.  Zora has written the majority of the book through the characters' dialogue using the vernacular of the African American's during that time period. Getting started was a bit of a struggle, as I had to get used to the tongue, but once I got into it, I was blown away by Zora's whit, humor and enthralling story. I loved reading the way these characters interacted with each other and the clever Southern phrases, some of which reminded me of my late grandmother, that she used.  This story is filled with adventure, humor, love and tragedy.

Here is an excerpt, taken from chapter 6, which left me literally LOL:

Take for instance the case of Matt Bonner's yellow mule. They had him up for conversation every day the Lord sent...Sam and Lige and Walter were the ringleaders of the mule-talkers...All they needed was to see Matt's long spare shape coming down the street and by the time he got to the porch they were ready for him.
"Hello, Matt."
"Evenin', Sam."
"Mighty glad you come 'long right now, Matt. Me and some others wuz jus' about tuh come hunt yuh."
"What fuh, Sam?"
"Mighty serious matter, man. Serious!!"
"Yeah man," Lige would cut in, dolefully. "It needs yo' strict attention. You ought not tuh lose no time."
"What is it then? You oughta hurry up and tell me."
"Reckon we better not tell yuh heah at de store. It's too fur off tuh do any good. We better all walk on down by Lake Sabelia."
"What's wrong, man? Ah ain't after non uh y'alls foolishness now."
"Dat mule uh yourn, Matt. You better go see 'bout him. He's bad off."
"Where 'bouts? Did he wade in de lake and uh alligator ketch him?"
"Worser'n dat. De womenfolks got yo' mule. When Ah come round de lake 'bout noontime mah wife and some others had 'im flat on de ground usin' his sides fuh uh wash board."

The great clap of laughter that they had been holding in, bursts out...."Yeah, Matt, dat mule so skinny till de women is usin' his rib bones fuh uh rub-board, and hangin' things out of his hock-bones tuh dry."
Matt realizes that they have tricked him again and the laughter makes him mad and when he gets mad he stammers.
"You'se uh stinkin' lie, Sam and yo' feet ain't mates. Y-y-y-y-you!"
"Aw, man, 'tain't no use in gittin' mad. You know yuh don't feed de mule. How he gointuh git fat?"
"Ah-ah-ah d-d-does feed 'im: Ah g-g-gived 'im uh full cup uh cawn every feedin'."
"Lige knows all about dat cup uh cawn. He hid round yo' barn and watched yuh. 'Taint no feed cup you measures dat cawn outa. It's uh tea cup."
"Ah does feed 'im. He's jus' too mean tuh git fat. He stay poor and rawbony jus fuh spite. Skeered he'll hafta work some."
"Yeah, you feeds 'im. Feeds 'im offa 'come up' and seasons it with raw-hide."
"Does feed de ornery varmint! Don't keer what Ah do Ah can't git long wid 'im. He fights every inch in front uh de plow, and even lay back his ears tuh kick and bite when Ah go in de stall tuh feed 'im."
"Git reconciled, Matt," Lige soothed. "Us all knows he's mean. Ah seen 'im when he took after one uh dem Roberts chillun in de street and would caught 'im and maybe trompled 'im tuh death if de wind hadn't of changed all of a sudden.  Yuh see de youngun wuz tryin' tuh make it tuh de fence.....and de mule was dead in behind 'im and gainin' on 'im every jump, when all of a sudden de wind changed and blowed de mule way off his course, him bein' so poor and everything, and before do orenery varmint could tack, de youngun had done got over de fence." The porch laughed and Matt got mad again.
"Maybe de mule takes out after everybody," Sam said, " 'cause he thinks everybody he hear comin' is Matt Bonner comin' tuh work 'im on uh empty stomach."
"Aw, naw, aw, naw. You stop dat right now, " Walter objected. "Dat mule dont' think Ah look lak no Matt Bonner. He ain't dat dumb. If Ah thought he didn't know no better Ah'd have mah picture took and give it tuh dat mule so's he could learn better. Ah ain't gointuh 'low 'im tuh hold nothin' lak dat against me."
Matt struggled to say something but his tongue failed him so he jumped down off the porch and walked away as mad as he could be. But that never halted mule talk. There would be more stories about how poor the brute was; his age; his evil disposition and his latest caper......

This book is only 200 pages long and took me about 2 weeks to read (riding to and from work on the train). I strongly rate it a 5 out of 5 and hope that you will enjoy it as much as I did (if I did it any justice).

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.....

Have you ever wished that the present you could go back in time and give the past you just the advice you needed?

One of my many amazing talents is the unique ability to travel back in time, whist staying in the present. How do you ask do I manage such a feat?  Well, it's through a friend of mine, Gemini. We were born at the exact same time, but 4 years apart.  She is, WAS me four years ago and I get to pass on all my hard earned wisdom to her so that she may benefit from Future Gemini.

Funny thing about wisdom and advice though is that no one actually takes it. It seems to be one of those things you have to live through to receive. So, now I get to watch "myself" experience the same mistakes...I mean learning experiences, from the comfort of being four years removed. Sometimes I just want to shake her, which is how I'm sure my family and friends felt. Thank you to those who stuck it out...wasn't it worth it??? Tots I know.

Just like me, she is extremely smart, talented, funny and attractive. It is for these very qualities why we are both single.  Guys go running scared from attractive SMART women.  We have tried playing the dumb blonde, but its just too energy consuming...."like OMG did she really just say that????" "Really? pickles are like cucumbers??? " "There are five continents....A-E-I-O and U" "Hey, look at that Swedish hottie from Holland!!!".....hmmm I think I just got dumber.

Anyhow, switching gears to my current life I have to say that so far I'm NOT impressed with my Fortune 500 job.  I haven't even started yet and I'm already sick of it.

Firstly, I had to undergo a background check, which, with my checkered past, took a week to iron out the kinks.  Then, I had get a friend of mine to forge my academic transcript and letter of completion from the University..another 2 days.  And now, 3 weeks later I'm STILL waiting for Fortune to send me my draft contract. I'm not sure when this is going to happen as the woman in charge has multiple personality disorder and is currently in her backyard barking at passing strangers.  So, I continue to wait and wait. I wonder what wisdom I'll learn from this to pass on to Gemini?

The Best thing Since Indoor Plumbing

Now that I have your complete and divided attention, I would like to introduce you to one of my friends, Judgement Day. I met this saucy siren about 6 months ago in the restroom of the Australian Yacht Club, an extremely prestigious club with a $25,000 membership price tag. It is here where the creme de la creme schmooze and cruise..literally.

With a handful of peanuts left and a couple of drinks non the wiser, it seemed I had a date with destiny. She was everything every high school girl inspired to be: extreme confidence (almost) to the point of cockiness and brashness, cunning intelligence with the ability play the "dumb blonde" combined with the power of manipulation and, of course, stunning good looks to complete the package.

Ah yes, Upside Down Girl and Judgement Day were meant to meet. Judgement knew that poor, lost Upside Down Girl with her non designer jeans, $35 hair cut and pho leather purse needed help and needed it ASAP!
Judgement lost no time in getting started. She knew that the best way to teach the ways of the world to inept girl was through the winning combination of the best and most effective teaching practices: being condescending, sarcastic, impatient, and hypocritcal.

In her defense, it really was...I mean IS for my own good. I mean, shouldn't I know that a materialistic life filled with (expensive) crap with the ambitions of climbing the social ladder is why we were put on this beautiful Earth? You know, it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man, so why bother meeting a poor one??  I'm learning these VERY important invaluable lessons which will lead me to the path of  a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment.

And, just for you, so that you can also find the true path, I will share these life's lessons with you as well.

In the beginning was the word, and the word was Blog

The following stories are loosely based on semi factual accounts of the life of Upside Down Girl.

To get to know a little about her, or er me, I will start with a brief summary of what has happened since moving to the land called Down Under from the Promised Land (I'm not sure what they were promising, but I'm sure I never got it).

Let's see....It took me approximately a quarter of a century to get to this continent country where I studied my Masters in Business from one of the most prestigious business schools in Sydney (It ranks within the top ten in the  country....never mind that there are only 11).  Upon commencing my studies, I wondered if I had really moved to Sydney, Australia as there were NO Aussies to be found. I think it took me 6 months before I found one of these highly secretive peoples.  

During this time, I got to re-live my glory days of college, or I guess MAKE my glory days, as I did not experience them during my undergrad years (a whole other story which I may or may not indulge you with). I made many friends during this time, some of whom I still talk to today (you will get to know them later).

I live in the lap of pure luxury. I live in an 20 bedroom 8 story house with 19 others. 

Each of our rooms have been specially designed for optimal efficiency. I mean, do we REALLY need the ability to take more than 2 steps in our room? or wear more than one outfit?

We share a massive kitchen with a FOUR electric burner stove (2 that work), a whole oven and a 2-slot toaster! Our Landlord, has been like Robin Hood to us.  While he's off traveling to heathen places like Europe, the US and Bali every other month, so that WE can have a better life, he has allowed for each of us to utilize 1/2 a shelf space in the refrigerator...plenty of space to put everything I need for the week, a maze of cords running crisscross throughout the house so we don't get bored and the luxury of hot water once a week.

This accommodation really is one of a kind.  Robin has spent extra money so that we can have the best of the best. The walls are made with a very special, new space age material where it feels like you're outside, even when you're inside! And all of this for just a mere $1,000 a month per person.

I don't have to drive here, as I am chauffeured everywhere I go...a bus into the city and a train to work. Ahh! the sweet sweet smells of toxic fumes has cleansed my lugs very nicely and I no longer have asthma...but I digress.....

After graduating, I took on a full time job on the 13th floor of a sky scraper on the North Shore. Well actually, I don't know if "job" is the correct word. What is it called if you get paid every 10-12 weeks or so in peanuts???

hmmm...... My boss, Tiger, is the quintessential Aussie bloke who goes surfing every morning before work and has awesome catch phrases like "yeah mah boy?" "hey dal", "good on ya" and "oh boy!" I have learned a lot and gained much needed experience over the past year, but times, they are a changin' and I live for change. I have been offered a job with a global Fortune 500 Company, which we'll call "Fortune." It supposedly pays in bars of gold every 4 weeks and I should be getting a draft of my contract shortly.